Welcome to mamaeats, a twice-weekly newsletter (Tues. & Sat.) inspired by a simple + seasonal home life. I’m a mother of three, avid reader, gardener, and home cook who focuses on nourishing, whole food meals with a focus on plants. This newsletter is my labor of love, and it means so much that you are here. If you are not already, and are able to do so, please consider becoming a subscriber to support my work here. This gives you access to all the archives and recipes (find the recipe index here), as well as cook-along videos which go along with most recipes.
From a young age we are taught that we do not talk with others about money, and this, I think, has contributed to a murky fog surrounding personal finance for many of us. Investing, saving, retirement, budgeting, debt … this is either very briefly touched upon or not touched on at all in school. Especially if you come from a lower income bracket, especially if you are a woman, especially if you do not actively research this on your own, managing money can be mysterious. I know others feel similarly because anytime I’ve brought personal finance up on my Instagram, I get so many messages about it, asking me to dive deeper. This information is brought over from an older blog post, but it is still very relevant.
If you are new to managing finances or just need a financial reset, here’s some basic tenets explained, with lots of additional resources linked to explore. I hope it can be helpful and bring some clarity.
Pillars of Personal Finance
i. You need a budget. It’s non negotiable, whether you have a large income or a small one or anything in between. I’m not saying you need to be obsessive with it. Maybe a little at first, but once you get into the flow, it will autopilot. If you don’t know where your money is going, you will never be able to make it work for you. You need to take an honest, hard look at things to get started. Literally write every single expense you have in a month down. See where you can trim the fat, so to speak. Ruthlessly clear anything that’s hindering your financial goals. Set reasonable limits. Schedule a weekly time to do a ~15 minute weekly check in with your finances (I do this Friday mornings) to remind yourself of where you’re at and what you’re working with. Monthly, sit down (together with partner, if applicable) and review what went well this month, how much you were able to save, etc— and set goals for what you could do better on next month.
Recommended: Empower (formerly Personal Capital), a really wonderful free service I’ve been using for over 5 years to budget on and track expenses, cash flow // or a good old Google spreadsheet or pen+ graph paper.
ii. You need to open a retirement account, if you haven’t already. Even if you can only put a very small amount away monthly, it’s still impactiful. I have never worked at a job that offered a retirement account, so didn’t start one until my early 30’s, when I opened up an IRA. Ideally everyone, as soon as they begin working, should open a retirement account- my 16 year old now has one. If you have one through your job, lucky you- fund it to the max that you can. And if you have an employer that matches up to a certain %, be sure to do it- you’re throwing away free money if you don’t.
Investing is something a lot of us put off because it can seem scary or complicated or boring. I promise you it’s not, and it’s so important. When I set up my account, it took me very little time. I use Vanguard for my IRA, they have low fees, great customer service/response time, and are client owned. Fidelity is another really good option. The resources linked below have lots more sturdy, reliable information about simple, no-frills investing.
Study List: Freakanomics podcast episode on money // John Oliver video // Frugalwoods Personal Finance Series // JL Collins Stock series
iii. Start an emergency fund. This is a savings account that will vary from person to person, and should have 3-6 months worth of living expenses. If an unexpected large expense comes up that you can’t pay for out of your normal month’s cash flow, your emergency fund enables you to pay cash for that bill, and not have to go into debt. Dentist work, hospital bills, major car repairs, losing your job unexpectedly, pay cuts, family illness, etc. Whenever you use the emergency fund, it should be brought back up to fully funded as soon as you can. I keep ours in this high yield savings account.
More Information: Dave Ramsey Emergency Fund FAQ // emergency fund calculator
iv. Live within your means. This is pretty basic, but I feel like as a society we’ve gotten so far way from it. Don’t buy things unless you have the cash to cover them, and be realistic and confident about where you’re at financially right now. Unpack and work through any desires that arise around pressure to “keep up” with purchases/lifestyles of those around you, or overextending yourself financially due to ego. Often these can indicate deep rooted feelings of lack, shame etc around money that you’ve picked up from societal programming, childhood, etc. Be satisfied and content with what you’ve got and make the best of it.
Simplifying and Reducing
i. Reusables over disposables. When I came across zero waste years ago, I realized I was already doing some of the lifestyle steps simply to save money. Single use products like paper towels, plastic water bottles, paper napkins, paper/plastic plates, tissue, tampons/pads, even diapers are so much more expensive than their reusable counterparts. Reusables can have an up front cost, but over time they pay for themselves over and over again. Buying single use is often like throwing your money in the trash- not to mention the environmental costs.
ii. Cook at home, real food. Whenever possible, cook at home, using real ingredients. Bulk dry beans, rice, oats, nuts/seeds, potatoes, and other whole food staples are inexpensive compared to packaged foods or eating out. It doesn’t need to be fancy at all, so don’t get intimidated by the idea of cooking if you don’t have much experience. Find a few easy recipes that you really enjoy eating and are fast- and rely on them. Also, bring food with you when you leave the house, especially if you have kids! Having snacks on you at all times helps you not get hangry and wanting that $12 acai bowl or boba or whatever. I always keep a bag of roasted, salted almonds in the center console of our car, and a larabar in my purse, and I can’t tell you how many times it has saved us!
iii. Use cash for things you tend to overspend on. This is really helpful if you’re trying (or have to) stick to a budget. I did this when I was a single mother and I literally could not overspend even a few dollars over my budget. I would have an envelope system with cash for food and go to the grocery store with that cash, so I didn’t overspend. Using a card, we are much more willing to pick up that “extra” that we don’t actually need. If I only have cash, it’s easy to see just how much money I have available and know that when that runs out, that’s it. I use this method at the farmer’s market, where it’s easy for me to fall in love with all the fruits and vegetables and overbuy.
iv. Experiences over things. Often for birthdays + holidays, we go somewhere together as a family and enjoy time together instead of buying things. Joel and I don’t usually exchange gifts, simply because we don’t like to, but also because to me, our relationship is deeper than a material item. I want to enjoy my family’s company, not be stressed out preparing, buying, wrapping, and cleaning up after presents. Year after year as we pare down, it feels wonderful to have more time together, focusing on our relationships and time together instead of things.
v. Simplify your life. Learn to live with less and enjoy it. Take pleasure in your home and make it cozy and fun to be in so you’re not tempted to go out every night. Apply this approach to everything in your life: keep what you love and what brings you daily joy and cut out the rest. Love a smaller and intentional wardrobe, kitchen + pantry, and living space. Do the same with your responsibilities/obligations, friends, etc. Life is simply too short to not enjoy it. When you’re happier, you’re less likely to spend money on outside things like material possessions. When I feel a strong desire to purchase something, it’s usually because something in my life or inside myself is “off” and i’m looking to avoid that feeling or soothe myself through a purchase.
vi. Buy secondhand + repair when needed over buying new. Self explanatory, but we have learned to wait a bit and be flexible when we need a certain item, searching in thrift stores, Craigslist, Freecycle, and finally Ebay to try to locate it secondhand before buying new. All our cars have been used, too. We repair the car until it costs more to repair the car than it would to buy another used car. Something already created uses the least amount of resources, since it already exists. It’s the most eco friendly, and also it is generally much less expensive. If you have something that breaks, fix it instead of trashing it and buying something new. There are so many YouTube videos out there that you can search for fixing things, and it can help you learn a new skill and save so much money by being a bit more self reliant and handy. Adopt a circular mindset.
vii. Examine what you value and what brings you joy- and spend your money there. Don’t be a miser and hoard every dime- that’s no fun either. It’s normal and human to desire material things, we live in a physical world. The joy of saving is so that you can spend money on the things that make your life rich. For example, food is one of our biggest expenses, because I love eating and cooking. Food is so important to my happiness, I could pare down here but I don’t want/need to because I prioritize it and cut back in other areas. For others, it may be something totally different- travel, beauty, entertainment- find what your thing is and look forward to budgeting/saving for your goals. It’s so much easier to forgo an impulse purchase if you have a clear picture of your goals.
viii. Honestly evaluate wants and needs. Often, our NEEDS are actually WANTS. With so many online retailers offering near instant purchase gratification, it can be so easy to want something and immediately get it. I often employ a time buffer in between buying things, waiting before I purchase and seeing if I even still want it days or weeks later. Often times, the answer is “no”- I actually didn’t need it, or could find a way to live happily without it. If I still passionately want it, I’ll buy. Otherwise, if the attraction has faded, I pass.
ix. Be grateful and appreciate what you do have. Be aware of your privileges every day that you have food to eat, clean water to drink and bathe in, people whom you love + who love you, physical or mental health, a place to live, etc. A few years ago I watched this documentary, Living on One Dollar, which shares a little about poverty in Guatemala. Also, this documentary, examining the subjectivity of happiness: Happy. Love what you already have, realize how rich and beautiful your life and relationships already are, and be here now. Share your extra money, time, love with those who need it more than you. That’s all there is.
This is such a nice perspective on living. Your Money or Your Life book really helped to change my perspective on the constant cycle to buy things.
Such an informative and enriching outlook. I also keep a list on my phone of items I want. Storing this collection of hyperlinks weirdly feels equally as good as purchasing them, if not better! I can’t tell you how often I look back at this list and laugh at the things I no longer need or simply aren’t my style